There are a select few that for some unknown reason the instant I met them I have known they were special and would have a lasting impact on my life.
For instance my husband; we went to school together. During our last two years in secondary school we spent every lesson together. Strangely enough we didn't get along back then. But years later when we met up again through a mutual friend I knew instantly I needed to spend more time with him. This 'more' time resulted in marriage and two wonderful daughters.
However there have been people who have entered my life (or I theirs) and we no longer speak. This is not due to a disagreement but the simple fact we've grown apart or that we're no longer needed in each others lives,we've moved on.
Approximately twelve years ago I started a new job in a new town. Within a few weeks I'd met someone who I instantly had a connection with. Over the months we became good friends, he educated my mind and musical taste, but also showed me that the life I had with my ex wasn't good for me. He made me believe I deserved better. After another ten months I finally plucked up the courage to leave my ex and my home with my clothes and a few personal belongings. once I walked I never went back.
The months passed and our relationship became more than friends. However during this time his mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We decorated his parents house and set up a bedroom downstairs for his mum to rest, as the stairs where too difficult. After several difficult months his mums health deteriorated and she often went into the local hospice for rest bite. On a scheduled stay we had planned to go away for the weekend. The Monday before our break, the day after Father's Day, I received a phone call I never could have imagined. He rang to tell me his Dad had collapsed and had sadly died at home, the neighbour had found him slumped in the porch. I knew his mum was very poorly but his Dad seemed so fit and active.
The next few days where busy organising the funeral, informing friends, colleagues etc. while all the time his mums stay at the hospice was extended. Her health had deteriorated. We buried his Dad the following Wednesday, sadly his mum was too poorly to say her goodbyes. Two days later, eleven days after his Dad had died, his Mum gave up her battle and passed away too.
The following months where extremely difficult, I did what I could. The most important thing was that I was there.
For various reasons 14 months later we drifted apart. We didn't fall out but we didn't spend time together or ring each other as we had.
He always said I came into his life to help him get through that terrible time. That he probably wouldn't have survived himself without me. But I can say the same, he rescued me prior to that. He showed me that I deserved a good life with someone who loved and respected me.
I often sit and wonder if he's happy, how he is coping. Especially around the time of his parents anniversary. He'll always have a special place in my heart that will never be filled by anyone else.
Last week I was introduced to someone new. This came about from a spontaneous decision to send a message.
I don't know what it is, I can't quite put my finger on it, but there is the essence of something very special about this budding friendship.
I guess only time will tell.
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